Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
