come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
