Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
