Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
