My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
