We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
