how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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