I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
