the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
All the doctor said was why
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
