Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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