FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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