We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
