i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
