just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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