Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
