If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
