Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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