Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
