I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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