Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
