dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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