You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize
