Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
