let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
