If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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