Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
