Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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