Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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