Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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