Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
