Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
