you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
