At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
