No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I want to be your penis for a week.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
