I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize