Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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