so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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