I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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