roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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