I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
