So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
