Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
