I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
