There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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