I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
