i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
