I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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