he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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