Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
