He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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