I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize