"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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