ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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