Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
