More tranny stories later!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There are leaves in my underwear?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
