really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
