Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize