That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
