A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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